I was in about the same place as my wedding approached. I considered focusing on losing weight for about a minute until people started jabbering on about how much I should try to lose and how to do it. That put me right off the idea and I said "fuck it". » 10/30/14 8:07pm Yesterday 8:07pm

Happy anniversary! Our fifth is tomorrow and I can't wait. I'm gonna say wear it under your clothes when you go out. Give him a little hint that he's got *something* coming to him when you get home, but not what. When you do get home, you can be ready to go in a blink while you distract him with something else (I like… » 10/30/14 7:48pm Yesterday 7:48pm

Yes! I can guarantee she's feeling like being 10 is lame and everyone treats her like a baby. She "knows" she so much more mature. Handing her a bunch of embarrassing toddler crap is only going to strengthen those feelings. This one is going to backfire spectacularly someday. » 10/28/14 4:27pm Tuesday 4:27pm

When I was 18 or 19 my boyfriend and I went as Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette post-beheading for Halloween. We'd rented elaborate costumes and I'd made awesome prosthetics for both of us. Of course we wanted to get the most use out of them we could, so the next night we decided to wear them to a haunted farm… » 10/27/14 1:30pm Monday 1:30pm

I would be fucking pissed too! That is not ok. Not at all. He shouldn't be hanging out back there (and with some rando?), he shouldn't be talking o you like that, and when confronted he should have realized he was being an incredible ass. Bad director! It is so important for performers to be prepared and relaxed… » 10/25/14 2:03pm 10/25/14 2:03pm

By college one should know better than to make a scene entering class late. If you're late, you slide in as unobtrusively as possible and hope a classmate will catch you up afterward on what you may have missed. Maybe you apologize to your professor after class if they aren't busy. You do not come in making a… » 10/24/14 6:09pm 10/24/14 6:09pm

I have large breasts and I was a total DGAF nurser. I'd already decided at that point that the boobs were there and getting attention all the time no matter what I did anyway. Plus I was a teen mom, so I was already getting all kinds of judgement from everywhere; judgement for how I fed my baby was pretty low on my… » 10/24/14 1:59pm 10/24/14 1:59pm

Alright, fine. I've been considering checking out the studio near me for a long time now and you've convinced me. They have a basics class starting right after my birthday next month; enough time to take one or two of their intro classes and see if I like the atmosphere. » 10/24/14 1:25pm 10/24/14 1:25pm

Yes, keep squeaking! Squeak loudly and often until something is done. Call every time you see these people pulling their idiotic crap. Hell, ask other responsible-seeming people at the park if it bothers them too and suggest they call as well. If a dog gets injured due to these assholes' irresponsibility, it's going… » 10/24/14 12:59pm 10/24/14 12:59pm

We had a roommate like this. Now, I'm not always the best about keeping the fridge cleaned out, but this was ridiculous. She'd come knocking on my door asking if I'd seen her leftovers I'd just finally thrown out after ten or fifteen days of rattling around and taking up space. Then she'd act all pouty and whine about… » 10/23/14 5:55pm 10/23/14 5:55pm

I would absolutely love to have streams of kids from all fucking over lining up at my door on Halloween night! There aren't enough kids in my neighborhood and there are more upscale neighborhoods pretty close to us so I imagine a lot of them go there. I mean, I know of a street not far from us full of elderly people… » 10/23/14 1:46pm 10/23/14 1:46pm

I can't figure out how to get Little to break up with her boyfriend without making it a command, which I'm not going to do. There's nothing particularly wrong with him, we just feel like the relationship has run its course and it's time to move on. He lives a good 15 miles away and 9 times out of 10 we're the ones who… » 10/22/14 7:53pm 10/22/14 7:53pm

I got drugged at a friend's party with my husband. My husband was drunk and I didn't even realize there was anything wrong, so I drove 15 miles home in the middle of the night. The next morning, I discovered I'd fractured my foot falling out of the hot tub while blacked out shortly before we left. I can't believe we… » 10/22/14 6:11pm 10/22/14 6:11pm